Sunday, February 27, 2011

Ride with your Heart

Thursday Feb 24, 2011
I got a phone call around 1 o’clock in the morning from David, the manager and owner of the farm in Wisconsin. He told me he just arrived back to his house from Florida and he was looking at flights for me to get to Wisconsin in the morning! We thought about a 6 am flight, but decided on an 8 am flight to Atlanta, and arriving in Wisconsin at 2 in the afternoon. I was lucky on my flight from Atlanta to Milwaukee-I had a whole row to myself to stretch out, lay down, and sleep for the duration of the flight (two hours of sleep the night before was just not enough)! When I arrived in Milwaukee, Kevin (the other manager/owner) and David picked me up along with Kevin’s 3-month-old terrier, Bruce. We talked in the car on the hour long drive back to the farm in Watertown, discussing about our history with horses and learned more about each other. I got to learn about all of the prestigious breeding lines that the farm has… it was very interesting to understand how much goes into the process of crossing bloodlines.
When we turned into the farm an hour later, I was mesmerized; the farm is simply beautiful. Rolling hills covered with snow, huge pastures with horses milling around in them, and a beautiful barn and indoor arena. Kevin took the liberty of showing me around the stallion stable, where I met Silvia, (from Austria/Germany) who is one of the main riders, and Sarah, another rider and groom. They are the sweetest girls in the world and their knowledge of horses surpasses mine. They brought me from stall to stall, introducing me to all of the stallions, who were shocking! Each one of them is gorgeous, has a unique personality, and the best part of all: they all have the sweetest disposition. I have never met such sweet, docile stallions before, and I knew right away that the people on this farm knew how to handle horses the right way.
After a tour of the entire property, I put my things in the beautiful house I stayed in. Kevin showed me many videos of some of the stallions they have at the farm, and of one stallion they have in Germany named Hirtentanz. After watching the videos, Kevin and David took me out to dinner and to the town, which is 15 minutes away. By the time we came back, it was 9 pm and time to feed all of the young stallions & mares, and bring all of the babies and pregnant mares in. We fed and hayed the young horses who stay out 24/7, mares in one section, stallions in another. After this, we went to the barn with the yearlings and pregnant mothers are. This barn is on top of a hill, and overlooks the rest of the property. There are about nine babies, all under a year... and they are precious! Each one of them is so personable, and sweet, I have never seen such young horses be so mature and friendly towards people. After bringing all of them in (also feeding and haying the pregnant ones as well), we went inside, talked for a while, and then went our separate ways to our bedrooms. I went to sleep dreaming of the majestic horses who I would be riding in less than 10 hours.

Friday Feb 25, 2011
            I woke before my alarm went off, and when it finally came time to get out of my comfortable bed, I couldn’t have been happier.  I got a late start this day because Silvia had another arrangement early in the morning, so I got to sleep in until 9. I had breakfast with David and Kevin, who drove me down to the stallion barn around 10 am. I dressed in as many layers as I could, I didn’t realize just how cold it was going to be, so I had a long-sleeved shirt with two jackets over it. My riding pants and gloves are not insulated because of the summer heat in Texas, so they did not keep me very warm. Kevin gave me a pair of his nice, warm gloves to use while I wasn’t riding and they kept my fingers from freezing.
I walked into the barn where Sarah and Silvia were waiting for me, with Kalvin already tacked up for me to ride. Kalvin is a 4-year-old bay gelding, 17 hands. He has a very sweet disposition. I was so nervous to ride during the first day, I knew they would all be critiquing me and watching how I handled the horses. Kalvin needed a lot of leg, with spurs and a crop. He was a good ride, though sometimes difficult to supple. The main thing I had to keep in mind was that these horses are all youngsters, and I could not collect them up, as I would normally do with an 8 year old. I trotted and cantered around with him, with Silvia, Kevin, and David in the middle of the ring watching. They were also chatting to each other about other things, so it took the edge off from me a little bit. Overall, Kalvin is a very talented horse, who just needs a strong leg… he has such a sweet personality (unfortunately, I didn't get to snap a picture of him!).

            The second horse I rode that day was Imago. He is a 4-year-old black stallion with a star, 16 hands, and simply stunning to the eye. He was my favorite ride of the day. It felt so easy between us. He has such a gentle disposition, and has such a smooth trot and canter. He was very easy to collect and supple, all I needed to do was be his passenger and use a little leg. Both of our personalities are the same, so we got along great. It was rather unfortunate he was not in shape for me to jump– everyone was telling me he is such an amazing jumper and they really wished he was in shape to do so because I would absolutely love him!  I had a lot more confidence in myself and the horses after riding Imago, he is truly a talented horse and I was honored to be able to ride him. While I was riding him, Silvia rode another horse with me, which made me feel more comfortable to have another rider with me. She is such a talented rider, and I wish I knew as much as she did about young horses and dressage. During this time, a hopeful working student named Jennifer came to see the farm and have a tour. She was my buddy for the next two days.
Imago
            After riding Imago, it was time for lunch. Silvia and I took the stallions back to their barn and untacked them. We had to bring in 4 or 5 stallions from their paddocks, switch their outside blankets with their indoor ones, and then blanket and turn out the stallions we had ridden that morning. Kevin, David, Jennifer, and I went up to the main house to eat and talk about the horses and more about ourselves so they could get to know us better. We had an hour break, and after the hour, I was so excited to get back down to the barn and in the saddle and see what the next horse had in store for me.
            The third horse I rode that day was Hoffherr. He is a 4-year-old bay stallion, 17 hands, and the sweetest guy you’ll ever meet. Silvia was riding another horse in the ring with me, and told me we were going to jump them. Fernando is the main rider/trainer at the barn (he is the reason they are looking for another rider, for he is moving to California). Unfortunately, he broke his collarbone, so he won’t be able to ride for another three months. Fernando came to give us a jumping lesson with the horses, and I could tell right off the bat that he has a substantial amount of knowledge about horses. I was extremely nervous when he first arrived, but he has such a laid back personality, I felt at ease as he shook my hand while I halted Hofherr beside him. We had a very short warmup because we were going to jump, so I didn’t get to have as much of a feel for Hofherr as I would have liked. He is such a willing horse, and will do whatever you ask of him. He was a little difficult for me to bend and collect, but that is to be expected from a 4-year-old! Silvia always started the jumping round first, and I would follow what she did. We started out with an X, then moved on to a bounce line. There were 5 bounces set up in a row, so the horses really had to use their backs and snap their knees up in order to clear them. Fernando told me he liked the way I ride, but I need to still my upper body and open my shoulders. Riding in front of him, Silvia, Kevin, and David was a lot of pressure, and knowing that I had to work on my position and try to ride better made it even more stressful, but I tried my hardest to understand how to get the most out of the horses. After the bounces, we had a 3 jump course: the X around to a diagonal fence, around to an oxer. I kept having huge spots with Hofherr, but he took it in stride and jumped from wherever I asked him to. Fernando’s biggest lesson for me was to find a rhythm with the horses. I really needed to be just a passenger on them, and to try not to think too hard. He told me I needed to ride with my heart, and not with my head. We ended on a good note, but I still wanted to perfect my ride with Hofherr (but I knew I had another day to ride him so maybe tomorrow would be better).
Hofherr
            The fourth horse I rode was Michaela. She is a 4-year-old dark dappled gray mare, 17 hands, and a total sweetheart. We also had a short warm up because we were jumping them again, so I didn’t really get to know her as much as I would have liked, but I was ready. The only problem with sweet Michaela is that she is a very spooky horse. Silvia warned me that there are monsters in the corners of the arena, and both her and Blitzlicht (the horse Silvia was riding at the time) were both afraid of the corners. Michaela is a horse who takes a few rides to get to know, and she was a handful! When we started jumping the X, I could barely get there in time because she was spooking at the corner. By the time she stopped looking/shying away from the corner, I had about 5 strides to collect her, get her attention back, and correct the pace. It was very difficult and challenging, but Fernando helped me move past that and just focus on the jump and what little approach I could get with her. I learned a lot with her. I understood more with her than Hofherr, just how much more of a rhythm I need with these youngsters. I loved the lesson, despite having a rough few jumps because of the corner monsters!  I received a lot of encouragement from Fernando, who helped me understand that Michaela is Michaela, and she is spooky sometimes, but that’s just her. It takes a while for her to trust her rider, and me, being under the eye of the trainers and owners, wanting to show the horses as well as I could, was already nervous from that, which didn’t help the situation with Michaela’s nerves.
Michaela
            By the end of the ride, it was time to feed the horses. I helped bring in the stallions who we had turned out hours earlier, change their blankets, and cleaned the tack we all had used throughout the day, while Silvia and Sarah fed and hayed the horses. By 5:30 we were done, and Kevin and David had left to go to the gym and to eat. Sweet Silvia took me out to eat some Chinese food, which was delicious. It was nice to have some hot food after such an eventful (and freezing) day! She talked to me about how she starts the horses there at the farm, and told me more about Austria, Germany, and her history with horses. She has so much knowledge with horses, I loved listening to her speak about her experiences with them, and appreciate everything she helped me with throughout this process. After dinner, Silvia dropped me off at the main house and I took the longest, hottest shower of my life! When Kevin and David arrived home, I spoke to them shortly, and fell asleep by 9:30… I was worn out and my legs were killing me (I wasn’t used to riding 4 horses a day, especially young ones)!

Saturday Feb 26, 2011
My alarm went off at 6 am, and the view of the farm before the sunrise was spectacular. My window overlooked most of the property, and it was so beautiful to see the early morning snow and the first rays of the sun peak up from behind the hill. I had breakfast alone in the kitchen and went up and put as many layers as I could because I knew that day was going to be long and cold. Silvia picked me up at the house at 7 and drove me down to the stallion barn. She showed me around the guesthouse where I would live if I got hired there. It is a beautiful house with views of the whole property. When we walked down the hill to the barn, Sarah had already fed and hayed the stallions, so it was time to put the outside blankets on the stallions who we weren’t working in the morning. I got to see Silvia work with a few of the 2 year olds. One she lunged in the arena with side reigns on for the first time. She did great! She also got on her halfway, to get her used to the feel of having someone sit on her. By this time, it was 9 o’clock, and Fernando wasn’t getting there until 10. I was so cold, I couldn’t feel my fingers or toes so Silvia advised me to go up to the guesthouse and warm up for 45 minutes before we rode. I had a Clif bar and stood in front of the heater for about 30 minutes, and walked back down the hill to the barn.
Today was a special day. I was riding Blitzlicht! Blitzlicht is a beautiful 4-year-old chestnut stallion with a star on his forehead. He is 16 hands and has a playful personality. He is Fernando’s favorite out of the bunch. Apparently, when Fernando rides him, he smiles the entire time and just laughs. Silvia told me that not many people get to ride him, so I should feel proud that I was going to. I was grateful to her for telling me this… it was a boost of confidence! Sarah had tacked him up for me, and I was very thankful for her help. He tested me a bit when I led him down to the arena and was very playful. Blitzlicht is a very talented horse; he is a great ride, and at times can be a little heavy. He has a great work ethic and I know he will grow up to be a very talented horse. Fernando was there and had me flat Blitzlicht, while Silvia rode Michaela and did a superb job with her. She got her past being afraid of the monsters in the corners, and had her looking fantastic!
Blitzlicht
The next horse I rode was Hofherr again. I was ready to have a better ride than the day before, and was excited to see how the ride would go. Sarah rode Eli (one of Fernando’s grand prix horses), and Silvia rode Blitz und Donner (Blitzlicht’s sire). We all warmed up fairly quickly and began jumping. This was one of my favorite rides of the weekend. I really started to understand Hofherr, and in the beginning we had some really long spots, but then Fernando started raising the jumps, had me find the right rhythm, and had me open my shoulders. We started doing fantastic! I loved riding him. He is a fantastic jumper and I know he will make a superb jumper when he gets older (although he already is one)! He was simply a joy to ride and I really appreciated Fernando’s help. His knowledge surpasses mine completely, and I only wish I could get into his head and learn everything he knows about horses.
The last ride of the day for me was on Imago. It was a short ride because he was going nicely. Silvia gave me some coaching, and he felt amazing. I couldn’t get enough of cantering him. I love that horse so much and already felt a bond with him after only riding him twice!
After riding, we brought the stallions in, blanketed and fed them, cleaned tack, and had dinner. I helped Kevin and David bring the youngsters in again before another extremely hot shower before bed. I woke up with a bittersweet feeling. I was so extremely happy to be there, yet so sad that I was about to leave a farm I fell in love with. I already miss the place, and am yearning to get back and start working with the fantastic horses and amazing people. It will be an experience that I will never forget. I already feel like a better rider, and I was only there for a few days. Each horse at the farm is spectacular and has so much talent and potential to be something great! The people and horses have all given so much to me, and I will always be thankful for the opportunity I had in Wisconsin. This experience was better than I ever could have imagined, and my fingers are crossed so tight for becoming a part of their team. 
Before the sunrise, from my bedroom window

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I believe in my dreams

I was working my usual 5-10 shift at Panera Bread today when my phone rang. When I saw who was calling, my heart skipped a beat. It was the owner of a beautiful barn in Wisconsin who I have been in contact with now for a few weeks. They are looking for a replacement trainer/rider for their barn, and have interviewed a few people over the last two weeks. I was told that they love the way I ride, but they would get back to me after they interviewed two people before me. I was unsure if I would be cut out for the job; I am only 22 and am not on the level with an olympic/grand prix rider, but I have enough passion and dedication towards horses that I feel I am a good candidate. After hearing there were already two people ahead of me to be interviewed, I wondered if there was even a chance that I would be able to show them how I ride. 


With permission from my manager, I quickly called him back and spoke with him for a good 20 minutes. It turns out he wants to fly me to Wisconsin so I can ride his horses and show him my abilities, while also getting a feel for his facility. I asked him when he would like me to go up there and ride for him, and was unprepared for his response: "in the next few days."


I sit at home now, with a racing heart, unable to think of anything else. Will I be in Wisconsin in 24 - 48 hours chasing a life-long dream? I have always wanted to ride in a grand prix or make it to the equestrian olympics; it has been a dream of mine since I can remember. Now I have an opportunity to show my talents and everything that I've worked for in the last 16 years. I feel like this is my last hoo-rah. I am graduating in May and as soon as I get a few pre-req classes out of the way, I'm on the path to a new career. As soon as I'm done with that, there won't be any more summer or winter vacations, there will be a probable 9-5 job, and I know I am not ready for that just yet. This is my last chance to do something for a very long time that deals with me and riding horses. To me, this is what it all comes down to.


Pressure? There is a lot. Not only for myself, but I also want to make my parents proud (although I know they already are!). All of the horse shows and lessons [3 times a week] my parents had to go to (and pay for)... will it get me an opportunity to ride at this beautiful barn? Will I be able to use my abilities with young, talented horses who are bred to win? These horses were bred to be champions, but was I?


Right before I left to go to work today, I grabbed a piece of Dove chocolate from the freezer (Tara loves them frozen), and I swear to you the inspiration quote on the inside of the tiny gold wrapper said, "Believe in your dreams."
Perhaps it's mere coincidence, or maybe there is something more at work here... but I will always believe in my dreams. 


                                                             Cassie & Pumpkin: 1997

Friday, February 18, 2011

Looking for...Love?

No matter who you are, or where you've come from, you have a passion. It might take quite a long time to realize what that passion is, but it is there. To have a passion, you don't necessarily need to be good at it, or feel inadequate if you find yourself continuously challenged by it. All you need is love.


I am on a mission. I do not know where it will lead me or what I am looking for. Perhaps it's love, but what kind? Maybe I am looking for a replacement for that deep gash in my heart. Maybe I am looking for a place to call my home away from home. Or maybe I am looking for a better me. 


I have a need for traveling, it is somewhat an addiction. I consider myself to be a "Euronut," (A non-European who continually speaks of the greatness of Europe and all that is European, despite living nowhere near Europe or hailing from a European country. Euronuts commonly enjoy spending time taking long walks throuh any European city in springtime, drinking wine or spirits over long lunches. They have the ability to work Europe into any conversation on any topic). I feel I am stuck in a grind, with nothing new or exciting... where has my passion gone? Four years of college, living with a roommate I adore and two fabulous cats, having a decent job, being able to do what I love (riding)... I would hope to be content here, but I find myself constantly yearning to be in Italy.


I am beginning a journey. I am not sure what I am searching for, or where I will end up. This is a turning point in my life; everything I do from now on will effect my future (but hasn't that always been the case)? It seems now that I near graduation, every decision I make will be important to my future. Am I really ready to get my masters or doctorate degree? What can I do with a major in Psychology if I am not prepared to spend the next decade in school? Am I really ready to settle down with someone who I think I know, when I am not even sure who I am? How can someone be so sure of themselves and their decisions when they haven't truly lived?


If asked to describe myself, I would probably say "a horse rider, a daughter, a friend, a lover." These things may be true, but are they actually what define who I am or is there something deeper? 


I grew up having everything I could ask for. I have wonderful parents, loyal dogs, I had lizards, frogs, turtles, and cats. We have a beautiful house and wonderful friends. I danced- ballet, tap, and jazz, played basketball, took piano lessons, and my favorite: I rode horses. Ever since I was little, around the age of 6, I knew I had something special with horses. I understood them, respected them, and cherished them. I eventually had two horses of my own, one who I rode eventing on, and one who I rode in jumpers. To ride a horse is unlike any other sport; It is not like a sport played with a ball. 


Imagine going out early in the morning, into a barn filled with eager horses. You see your horse, give her a treat and a pat on the neck, and tell her good morning. Get the hay out of her forelock and brush her. You know where her favorite spot is that she just can't reach. Although she just woke up, she is still beautiful; standing tall and proud, her coat gleaming. You saddle and bridle her, and take her out for a ride through the woods. You gallop. All you can feel is her moving beneath you, her muscles stretching. All you can feel is a cool wind on your face. All you can see is her head bobbing up and down stride for stride, and her ears flicking back and forth - looking for what is ahead and then back to let you know that she is listening. You do not notice what is around you, your thoughts leave you. Any problems you have seem to disappear. All you can hear is the sound of her breathing and her hoofbeats on the ground.  There is a bond created unlike any with a human. Only horse riders completely understand this bond.


A horse is someone you can share your deepest secrets with; don't worry, she won't tell. A horse is someone who trusts you, if you give her the chance to. A horse is vulnerable the moment she stands there and lets you in the saddle. Horses will always choose to run if they are afraid, and to allow someone to mount and ride you takes quite a large amount of trust from a horse. To ride a horse, you must borrow her freedom. 


I will soon start my journey. I am unsure exactly where I am headed, but know that I must find myself. I am desperately yearning to submerge myself in a culture that I am not comfortable with on my own, surrounded in a language that I can just barely comprehend, and just live. Tuscany is my hopeful destination, and horses will be my accomplices. 


After all, a horse is the projection of peoples' dreams about themselves - strong, powerful, beautiful - and it has the capability of giving us an escape from our mundane existence. ~Pam Brown